BARDOT Dirty Water

We have no idea why the original bombed. Made In Londons Dirty Water had everything. Crossed all the genres and typecasts. It was rock, rnb, girl-pop, guitar disco and even engendered a sense of something grand or operatic. The same multiplicity was repeated on the early demos for the epic Nothing Good About This Goodbye by the equally amazing Alexis Strum some years later.

The prologue recalled Janet Jackson and Kylie Minogue at their finest and all with evil slicks in very London accents. When the first “chorus” comes in it is so London it hurts. “Why did I BOVVA?” immediately takes the listener to Camden Market without being too Vanilla.

The strings, drum beat, operatic harmonies, British couplets and simple chorus reveals Dirty Water to be one of the key singles of any music history. This song, with its hardline lyrics, straight up delivery and the feature of two choruses rather than one, is a pinnacle that secured the future of Girls Aloud. We might have had too much Middle class vino but DONTSTOPTHEPOP believes this to the song of the millennium. Although it wasn’t noticed by public at time of release, it will take centre stage at any museum exhibiting ‘poplife back then’ in 2760 AD.

It was later covered by Australian popstars Bardot who got rid of the introduction. THAT’S THE BEST BIT! They thus zapped the life out of the song. If we’d had not heard the Made In London original, DONTSTOPTHEPOP would like-but not essentially love-their version. However as the original is so strong, Bardot are unable to eclipse Made In London. Their voices are weak, the music sounds base and the polemic anger in the voice has completely gone. They sound like they are complaining about the lack of organic milk at their local whereas Made In London appeared to be about to deck you after too many vodkas. The depth of original was totally wiped out on the cover much like when Rachel Stevens buggered up Nothing Good About This Goodbye last year. Bardot seemed to have lost all character in the “why did I bother?” rant and instead perform the lyric not with disgust nor frustration but instead slight irritation. Like missing a bus.

The sweeping strings have gone as have the beautiful backing vocals. Bardot have given us some wonderful music in their short career but they utterly butchered a pop music gem.

But that’s just DONTSTOPTHEPOP’s opinion. If you wanna hear the original just check above.