EUROVISION THOUGHTS

This is who Spain should of sent to Oslo. Maybe they woulda won with this....

I watched Eurovision in the heartland of Madrid's gay area Chueca. Looking out from our balcony during the crappy performances (Israel for instance) ala Evita I noticed the streets below were empty. This is highly unusual for a saturday night in this part of town. The city was glued to the TV.

Analysis

UK

Let's deal with Josh and coming last. Ultimately this was bound to happen. I can understand why people are blaming the song and the BBC. Especially since it appears that Katie Melua's the Flood could of been the song we sent to Oslo. A song that just happens to be in my top ten songs of 2010. However, I don't think full blame should be placed on Stock/Waterman/Crosby. Yes, the song must have been a Scooch b-side circa 1998 but I think Josh himself looked like a deer in the headlights. Josh seemed too stiff and incredibly unsure about it all. Give the song to Claire Richards and I am sure the song would of done better.

The Failure of Dance-pop at Eurovision

Saying that, do europop songs actually do well these days? Was the UK entry doomed the second those trance-lite synths started? I think so. Iceland's quite utterly amazing entry was considered by many a strong contender to win. Why didn't it? It should of done much better than it did. The traditional big europop song seems to be a nonstarter these days. The last big europop song to win Eurovision was back in 2005 by Helena Paparizou. Electro is out out out. Putting aside that Finnish entry, the poppy tracks that have won seems to be a genre described as "ethno-pop". This requires strings, a fiddle and a few drums. Anything too old school Eurovision like this years entries from The Netherlands or Spain go down like a lead balloon.

Sweden

Well that was a shocker. Sadly not. The song was "quite nice" but it didn't stand out enough. It deserved to be in the final though. Especially over that boy and his guitar. Doing his best to ape James Blunt with an instrument that wasn't even plugged in. The Belgian entry screamed total twat time. You can't blame Anna or the song. It just wasn't to be. The star's were not aligned in her favour. Maybe Sweden should re-employ Lars Diedricson (the writer behind its last winning song by Charlotte Nilsson). Sweden certainly has the songwriters there to produce an amazing successful song (proven by the Swedish names behind many of the songs performed on Saturday). Sweden also has many great pop performers who can knock out a great performance. Maybe Eric Saade or Gathania for 2011?

Spain

How did they get it so wrong? Spain is the land of hot dramatic diva's who can belt out huge arias. It rivals Sweden on that front. Sending a Mika-lite character was never going to go down well. The entry might have caused blood to boil in the 1970's but just as the UK entry was completely out of date as was Spains. When the highlight of the performance was a stage jumper then you know your in trouble. Spain really shoulda sent someone like Marta Sanchez (above) or allow Jose Galisteo win in this years national heats (below). Or Venus (at the top of the post).

Belgium

Its taken some time. We heard whispers of this happening when the UK sent James Fox with Hold Onto Our Love. Being a tad before his time the song limped in at 16th. If the UK had sent James Fox now perhaps he'd done a lot better. Indeed, I've noticed a running theme in recent years that a man bearing his soul with an unbearable stripped down melody (See last year's Russian win) and a god awful voice appears to do well (see this years Russian entry). Male singers bearing their souls in an acoustic manner that sound barely in tune do well. And Tom Dice for Belgium proved that point. His song and performance were quite the moment in the entire show where thoughts of a nice cup of tea dripped into mind.

Ballads

If you submitted a ballad on Saturday night you were bound to do well. If you weren't Ireland or Norwegian (who probably sent out a memo demanding they're poor performance this year). The UK learnt this last year with Jade. And this year it was Portugal who surprised many with their beautifully performed Ha Dias Assim which reaped the rewards of picking a ballad and thus getting through to the final over the Dutch and Swedish favourite's. Ballads also ensured relative success for Georgia, Israel, Belgium and Russia. I think if it was any other year Norwegians' mighty power ballad would of done a lot better than it did.

Germany

An accent that seemed a cross between a lass from North Devon (perhaps Bideford) crossed with Kate Nash. The accent jumped between cockney and something like you hear in the hilarious French and Saunders clip below.

Hey, its rude of me to jibe about such matters. She's not English & my German is probably terrible. Good on her for giving it go! Actually her accent made it all the more charming for me. That aside, it was always going to win. Written by a Dane and an American, the song has reigned the charts of Germany for over five weeks. The song has already entered the European top ten which could suggest big things for Lena's winning entry. I can see it doing very well in the charts around the world. At the heart of the winning entry was fun. And putting aside Lordi, all the recent winning entries of Eurovision have contained an irresistible melody that conveys nothing but pure fun that was slightly kooky but incredibly catchy and commercial too. In many ways then, Satellite was a natural second chapter to Alexander's 2009 epic recording breaking win. So well done Germany. A truly deserved win.